a year ago i was getting ready to board a plane to madrid. now i'm getting ready to sling dollar sushi to animalistic college kids. oh how times they do change.

this semester is reminding me that i have the complete and utter capacity of functioning at nearly one hundred percent efficiency. throughout the course of each week, from the moment i wake up until the moment i go to bed, i'm usually doing something that is completely and utterly necessary to my cause, whether it be eating/sleeping/bathing, attending class/reading/writing, working/paying bills, or the occasional drinking a/some beer(s) (a man needs some repose, after all). downside--no time to make music.

this morning, an old man on the 4w blue filled out a crossword puzzle as his nose slowly dripped onto his lapel.

one.

since i had to set up this blog for class use, i figure it's a good opportunity to get back to writing about the random minutia of daily life. in a brief reprieve from the bitter, miserably cold winter weather, the sun came out today and the snow started to melt. what a relief.

manufactured consciousness

i find it incredibly frightening that the future of this country is being shaped by politicians that polarize and exploit citizens' fears and insecurities in order to gain favor--chant u.s.a., u.s.a.

everything all of the time.

after three consecutive nights of 10+ hour shifts, i'm going to hop in my car, road trip out to rhode island, and hit up manhattan, jersey, and philadelphia on my way back to chicago. i plan on smoking way too many cigarettes, drinking entirely too much coffee, and loving every waking moment of it.

the silence that the city achieves late, late at night is pretty incredible. last night as i was riding home after having some drinks with coworkers, all i could really hear was the sound of my bike tires against the pavement and the strong wind ringing in my ears. the el broke through the night abrasively and reminded me of the city that we live in. the whole six mile ride home, i don't think more than ten cars passed me by. it was a real nice moment of summer that i shared with myself.

1er juin.

when it all boils down to it, solid friendship and love for your brother is the cornerstone of my being, as lonesome as i try to make myself sometimes.

time

one ticket to a place that is not here.

identity

greek women from the island of Lesbos are trying to get homosexual women to rethink their nomenclature so that their women can identify themselves as "Lesbians" free of the current cultural connotations. this world is straight up craaaaaazayyyy.

oklahoma kid.

i'm just a hack writer who drinks too much and falls in love with girls.

healthcare.

went to the optometrist today for a follow up exam on my new contact lenses. apparently, i have a big 'ol corneal ulcer that she missed during my exam last week. luckily for me, i'm undergoing antibiotic treatment so as not to lose vision in my right eye. i get to go to the office and have bright lights shone in my eye for the next four days! at the nominal fee of only fifty dollars a visit! and the antibiotic eye drops i was prescribed? why, only sixty one dollars for a 3ml bottle. look at that guy.



luckily for me, i have health insurance. the good folks at blue cross and blue shield are endowing unto me a whopping twenty two dollars for the whole ordeal. thank you american healthcare system! what would i DO without you!

you forgot it in people

gimme some of that old soul.

el-low

it's about that time that i thrust myself back into the game of uncertainty and discomfort.  it's all about burning bridges and blazing new trails.  forge a new path for new beginnings and pioneer a future for myself.  no job.  no band.  no school.  all i've got is this little hope burning inside me that has to carry me on to bigger and better things...  and this pair of hazel eyes burned into my mind that maybe someday will look back into mine.  it's time to set things right.

soleá

so i packed a bag, hopped a few planes and trains, and saw another part of the world.

shared some beautiful moments with a beautiful lady.

what a life.

check it out.

(dreaming of) meat is murder.

i dreamt of eating veal cutlets last night. what a bummer.

chicago seemed tired last night

lot's of work lately. keeping my mind and body busy so as not to let them wander and get into shitty situations. i've been thinking about the future in very different terms than i ever have before. there seems to be an unnatural split from my usual pessimism. bob laughed at me and told me i'm still entirely too pessimistic when i told him this, but i feel it's more of a brightly centered and focused realism than an blanket pessimism. there's no way to ignore or deny all of the negativity and let down that goes on in daily life, but i've learned to accept these all and focus on the passing moments of beauty where humanity shines through. it's given me this electric feeling that, no matter what, everything is going to be okay. there will always be good tunes, there will always be good films. the libraries are full and nothing's going to change that. and then, there's always the muse; that single image of fleeting beauty that keeps the fire alive. sunshine creeping through the window after a sleepless night that hit's the hair just right and sets the whole room ablaze with a piercing glow. it's time for travel.

cafe lula

two twenty-something young women seated across from one another, each one not looking at the other, talking on their cellphones and staring out the window.

office space.

i'm getting to the point where i have nightmares about my job every single night. something has to change.